January is a month. Or a year in 31 days.
It drags. And it feels like it will never end. But we know it does.
Not that it makes any difference. It is a day followed by another day, with just a different label.
This month comes after Christmas and New Year’s festivities, a time where we put aside the non-urgent worries and eat and drink and exchange gifts and all. The time that comes after definitely pales in comparison. And this is how January feels like; pale, cold, long, boring sometimes, and often dark. And that is not about the global political decisions of a few rich inept individuals which they bestow upon us during the first few days of EACH of the past few years.
My birthday is in the middle of January. I don’t really enjoy having a big celebration for my birthday. I used to invite a few friends (the number fluctuated over the years) for brunch or dinner where I would cook and share a meal. I haven’t done that for many years now, maybe at least 7 years. I have been getting a surprise gathering in the past couple of years.
I got used to making my own cake and sharing a recipe sometimes on my blog.
I also haven’t been doing that.
This year I made a cake. And I made a video and I am writing a post about it.
I read somewhere that the magic we used to feel when we were little at celebrations was created by the adults who were around us. And now we are the adults and it is our responsibility to create that magic, even if it is just for us. But how can we create magic when we are surrounded by death and despair everywhere we look?
DELUSION. That is it.
It is a privilege to be delusional in this economy and I know I don’t have that luxury.
But I have to take short breaks of delusion and detachment and pretend everything is fine for a minute. That’s the only way to keep going.
Each year I feel less and less excited about celebrating my birthday. I don’t know if it’s because of the world we live in, or the geographical location we live in, or because it’s in the middle of the longest month in the year.
Or could it be because I am getting older?
Not that it makes any difference. It is a day followed by another day, with just a different label.
I made a video documenting the day. I show the cake recipe I made which I will share in the post afterwards, and how the day went overall.
